The curse of the dick pic.

Yesterday I woke up to a news story on cyber flashing. A group of MPs are calling for this to become a crime. My view? About damn time.

I still think about the “cyber flash” I received a few years ago by a previous neighbour. I’d never suggested to him that I’d want to receive this, though I’m not sure that was a factor in his decision making. Even so, I woke up to a photo of his penis, followed by a voice note of him masturbating. Happy days.

At the time, I deleted them from my phone and blocked him. I didn’t want to see it and I didn’t want the reminder of the conversation. Of course when I later reported this to the police, there was a lack of evidence and nothing they could do. It would sit on his police file, but it wasn’t a crime and it was my word against his.

I can’t tell you how it feels to receive this without consent. As always, that’s key. I didn’t give consent to him sharing a photo, and I most definitely did not consent to him having a wank at my expense. I wish I could find the words to tell you what I think about him. One day I’ll find them, but not now.

A couple of weeks ago I watched Zara McDermott’s BBC3 documentary Understanding Rape Culture which reminded me of my school days.

I remembered a guy who no one wanted to sit next to because we knew there would be a hand up our skirts in seconds. He never ever got into trouble. I hope he realises today how wrong that was.

At least we didn’t have camera phones back then. Social media was only just starting to grow as we moved into Sixth Form, so we didn’t experience half of what children and teenagers do today.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard the words “your word against his”. I was an adult when I heard that for the first time. I can’t fathom how this could damage a 12 year old girl, yet according to the BBC 76% of 12–18 year old girls have been cyber flashed at least once in their lives. 76%. Let that sink in.

One of my new heroes, 13 year old Amelia Gibson stood for Youth Parliament in Wales last month. One of her main campaign pledges was to end sexual harassment in school. Because it’s still happening. Her run for Youth Parliament was unsuccessful, but I hope one day she’s our Prime Minister.

When I spoke to my childhood best friend about this, it unravelled countless experiences of unwanted attention. We were angry, annoyed and furious that this is still not being dealt with in the right way.

We’re in our thirties now, and you could probably term us “difficult women”. I think you could say the same for most of my friendship groups. I’m happy to be called that, as long as it means we’re trying to change things for the generations ahead of us. Let’s hope one day, it’s their word against ours.